Lets talk about SEX…

The dread and disgust attached to the word sex is evident even in children as young as 8 years.  Somehow they feel it is a shameful word never to be uttered in public.

How and why do our children begin to internalize this shame?

They simply reflect the attitude of the adults. The sidewalks are often plastered with titillating images from upcoming movies, the T.V. channels, item numbers are inundated with explicit sexual innuendos, the internet has frequent pop-ups invading innocent sites being accessed by our children. None of this really bothers us until we are in the awkward position of viewing these lurid images alongside our children. Then, we jump for the remote and look hopelessly awkward. Therefore most children, as we did when we were of impressionable age, infer that sex is a dirty thing. This vicious cycle of shame amplified by any absence of dialogue on sex in the domestic domain is the genesis of sexually repressed and confused individuals

Our children never learn to distinguish consensual sex between adults as a way of expressing love from the mindless, kitsch pervading the Internet. The onslaught of nefarious and provocative, shamelessly violent and distasteful images plague the children convincing them that this distorted animal sex, devoid of any sensitivity or romance, is the norm. It is no wonder then that we hear more and more underage children committing brazen sex crimes. The new cool is to watch pornography, gain popularity by talking about it and secretly experiment it as far as one can. 

How can we change this dismal situation?

Just as children’s ideas about religion, politics and world at large are shaped by the environment at home, their understanding or sex or lack thereof is also emanating from firstly home and secondly school. If home and school take on the responsibility of demystifying our children about sex and the myths attached to it, we would be able to effectively protect our children from the child predators looming large on the Internet.

Many adults argue that they were never given sex education and they have turned out just fine! They forget that the current generation is a lot more vulnerable to the unfiltered information overload via Internet.  When we prepare ourselves to have a scientific and open discussion on sex with our children, we essentially empower them for life.

The timing of this education also matters. You can’t keep pushing it until they are well into their teenage years-by then the damage is done. It has to be done in the adolescent years, when the curiosity is high and the maturity to discern between types of information is almost absent.

A logical and precise approach, which truthfully gives the facts, and clearly resolves children’s queries related to sex will ensure mature, confident adults who have mutual respect for all genders.

And this is far simpler and easier then we allow ourselves to believe. If we rid ourselves of our own misgivings with regard to sex, then we would be better prepared to deal with the children’s innocent questions.

Some adults believe that if children overcome the fear and shame attached to sex, it might lead to shamelessness and loss of innocence. This belief is derived from the assumption that all sex is guilt-ridden and indecent. We need to therefore differentiate between consensual sex between adults from the hypersexual, violent sex blatantly flashed on porn sites.

Sex education does not lead to shamelessness but awareness about sex. This awareness equips our children against the malicious misinformation swarming the Internet. Lets face it-we can’t censor the Internet but we can educate our children to recognize the good from the bad.

The SEA

The Sea

The reluctant sea hides under a blanket of fog

Holding the Air prisoner, teasing the birds in the trees.

Still as the stars in the distance

The volcano simmers underneath the frozen visage

Forever moving forever still

Singing the song of human existence and annihilation

Captive within the walls

In the plenitude of home

And magnitude of quotidian tasks

I imitate the rhythm of the sea

Forever moving forever still

Echoing the song of human existence

My yearning amuses the sea.

It whispers…

The beauty of all that lives

Is in its brevity

Eternity is the mirage of the fools

The wheel must role

The water must flow

Forever changing, ending, beginning

Is the human condition

English-East and West.

The western mind takes pride in its ability to think beyond defined structures. Innovative thinking in Language is possible only when we realize that Language is a tool for our convenience, therefore always subject to change. Shakespeare invented about 1700 words, or maybe more, by changing verbs into adjectives and bending grammar rules, taking full advantage of poetic license. Several other authors like JR.R.Tolkien’s invention ‘tween’ or James Joyce’s ‘quark’ to name a few, have also added to the variety in English Language.

The Orientals on the other hand tread cautiously around the English Language, never wanting to upset limits set by traditionalists and laboring hard to emulate rather than innovate. The Americans pronounce and spell differently from the English, the Australians brag on ‘how to speak Australian’, and the French and Germans use English without bothering too much about its rules.

Indeed within America different pronunciations exist-the New Yorkers sound very different from the Texans for example, yet neither one feels inferior to the other or expects the other to change. However the Indians readily mispronounce their own Hindi words to ingratiate themselves to the western reader-so Ram becomes Rama and Mahabharat become Mahabharata!

English Language and Class

The class divide in India is best reflected in the way our people speak English differently.

The larger section of India apes the supposedly ‘superior’ breed and tries hard to divest itself of their natural Indian accent.

English medium schools are the poor India’s ticket to wealth so it is no surprise that at present we are dealing with a crop of youth who are terribly bewildered about their cultural identity. They are expected to copy the west in their speech but still comply by all the ‘mariyada’ of the traditional Hindu culture. We cannot deny the importance of learning English but we can learn English without denying our ethnic identities. We need to raise global citizens who are not embarrassed by their ‘Indianess’, be it in speech, dress or family values.

English Language and the changing times

English is not the language of the purists as it is constantly evolving, assimilating and getting influenced by global changes. This is the reason that the English language has prevailed over all the other Languages. Each year several words from foreign tongues become part of the Oxford English Dictionary, indicating that flux is part of life. If the Language itself is so in tune with the high-speed change of our times then why are we stuck in the past? Why can’t we alter our mindsets about the way this universal Language is spoken, written and understood?

We cannot undermine the importance of English but we need to recognize that it no longer belongs exclusively to any country-it is a global asset. We need to own the Language and use it to our advantage without getting daunted by the western influence.

India is living in the dark ages when it comes to our skewed gender roles, archaic caste system and massive social divide, isn’t it time that we take a more avant-garde approach to Languages? We need to adapt to this change so that communication is not obstructed by conservative structures in language and pronunciation, otherwise Asian students will always live in the shadow of the west, agonizing over accents and pronunciation instead of voicing their opinions on issues of real worth. We are no longer slaves to any country; it is time we assert our freedom in our own voices and accents, and view the English language only as a means of communication, not an end in itself.