Lets talk about SEX…

The dread and disgust attached to the word sex is evident even in children as young as 8 years.  Somehow they feel it is a shameful word never to be uttered in public.

How and why do our children begin to internalize this shame?

They simply reflect the attitude of the adults. The sidewalks are often plastered with titillating images from upcoming movies, the T.V. channels, item numbers are inundated with explicit sexual innuendos, the internet has frequent pop-ups invading innocent sites being accessed by our children. None of this really bothers us until we are in the awkward position of viewing these lurid images alongside our children. Then, we jump for the remote and look hopelessly awkward. Therefore most children, as we did when we were of impressionable age, infer that sex is a dirty thing. This vicious cycle of shame amplified by any absence of dialogue on sex in the domestic domain is the genesis of sexually repressed and confused individuals

Our children never learn to distinguish consensual sex between adults as a way of expressing love from the mindless, kitsch pervading the Internet. The onslaught of nefarious and provocative, shamelessly violent and distasteful images plague the children convincing them that this distorted animal sex, devoid of any sensitivity or romance, is the norm. It is no wonder then that we hear more and more underage children committing brazen sex crimes. The new cool is to watch pornography, gain popularity by talking about it and secretly experiment it as far as one can. 

How can we change this dismal situation?

Just as children’s ideas about religion, politics and world at large are shaped by the environment at home, their understanding or sex or lack thereof is also emanating from firstly home and secondly school. If home and school take on the responsibility of demystifying our children about sex and the myths attached to it, we would be able to effectively protect our children from the child predators looming large on the Internet.

Many adults argue that they were never given sex education and they have turned out just fine! They forget that the current generation is a lot more vulnerable to the unfiltered information overload via Internet.  When we prepare ourselves to have a scientific and open discussion on sex with our children, we essentially empower them for life.

The timing of this education also matters. You can’t keep pushing it until they are well into their teenage years-by then the damage is done. It has to be done in the adolescent years, when the curiosity is high and the maturity to discern between types of information is almost absent.

A logical and precise approach, which truthfully gives the facts, and clearly resolves children’s queries related to sex will ensure mature, confident adults who have mutual respect for all genders.

And this is far simpler and easier then we allow ourselves to believe. If we rid ourselves of our own misgivings with regard to sex, then we would be better prepared to deal with the children’s innocent questions.

Some adults believe that if children overcome the fear and shame attached to sex, it might lead to shamelessness and loss of innocence. This belief is derived from the assumption that all sex is guilt-ridden and indecent. We need to therefore differentiate between consensual sex between adults from the hypersexual, violent sex blatantly flashed on porn sites.

Sex education does not lead to shamelessness but awareness about sex. This awareness equips our children against the malicious misinformation swarming the Internet. Lets face it-we can’t censor the Internet but we can educate our children to recognize the good from the bad.